Homesick? Friendsick?

I got stung with a huge amount of homesickness today. It really hit me Monday and Tuesday when I realized I had no one here in Hradec to really talk to. I don't mean "Hey, how are you? How's work?" those are just social niceties we pay. No one really wants to hear sob stories. This is why I keep my distance from people because I know they don't want to hear it. Whenever I try to reach out to someone I just kind of have it slapped back in my face. I had a handful of people back in U.S. who were ready for me with a hug and perhaps some chocolate when I needed and they didn't care if it was in the middle of the day or at midnight. I don't have that here.

It's easy for people to say, 'Oh you should go make friends with the university students." No it's not easy. I'm a very shy person. I don't like huge events with so many people. I like small groups of people.  People with whom I can be intimate. I haven't had a proper hug in months. I think that's a huge part of it. Hugs. When someone gives me a proper hug and I mean a strong hug so that I can feel the love, I feel a thousand times better. It makes me feel like someone might not get it but they know it's important to me. I feel like that sounds a bit selfish but I think it's human nature to crave these sorts of things.

I'm sorry for the rant, I'm just feeling so incredibly overwhelmed and lonely.