Kitschy kitchens and Elvis collector's plates.

I never realized how strange American culture is. Foreign friends have pointed out to me time and time again that I’m so strange, weird, a “hippy hipster lady”, crazy, etc. I never really understood why. I think compared to many Americans I’m quite calm. Yes, I have my own idiosyncrasies but I am far from the most eccentric person in America. Very far. I think I’ve begun to realize why people think this. I was out for a walk at the theater festival with my friend Jenda and I spotted some abandoned tea cups on the ground next to the trash. I thought they were quite pretty and considered picking them up, washing them and taking them home. Of course, Jenda yelled at me, saying they were dirty and anyway they were very kitsch (he also yelled at me for taking a picture of the bird skeleton we came across). Jenda doesn’t understand my fascination with kitsch. I told him, “You say kitsch, hipsters call it vintage.” While I was only joking I realized that it’s actually quite true. I think maybe that because America doesn’t have this long history full of ancient battles and old kings and we don’t have any castles that are thousands of years old, we are making our own history through kitschy items. We have this fascination with uncovering some semi-lost past and making it trendy and cool and exciting. I was pondering this as I was trying to sleep last night and came to some realization but of course I didn't write it down and it doesn't really make sense to me anymore. It was something like this: our obsession with a somewhat meaningless past is like stuffing a twenty-dollar bill in your pocket, forgetting about, and they fishing it out of your jean pocket after washing it and storing it in your closet for two months. It’s a pleasant surprise but we obsess over it and tell the story to our friends over and over. Yeah, I don't really know where I was going with that. Half-asleep logic is weird. 

But we do cling to the things from our recent past in search of some identity that we don’t really have as Americans. Or at least I feel I don't really have as an American. America used to be known as The Great Melting Pot and then morphed into a politically correct salad. I think that’s great for those who maintain their original identities and cultural practices but what about the following generations of those individuals? They don’t fall into the same category as their parents and are forced to form this new identity that is patched together from so many different scraps. It’s kind of a Frankenstein’s monster sort of deal. I guess that means we’re all freaks of nature.

O heaven, who ordered the beautiful?

What an absolutely gorgeous day. I've almost finished my errands and I'm leaving HK on Monday evening. I'm almost all packed and the apartment is (semi) clean. Have you ever experienced such a perfect evening when the weather is great, the music playing in the background is just right, and you couldn't be in a more perfect mood? That's pretty much how everything is right now. It reminds me of summer nights in Boston when I'd walk home through the Public Garden late at night and the air smelled so sweet and I would just sit for a little while and listen to this one street performer playing a little flamenco music. Beautiful.

It seems so surreal that I'm heading home in two days. American soil. Home. I can already tell you tears will be involved.

Apparently I can't leave Czech.

My students won't allow it. I tried to explain that I will be back in September but they're little and there is only so much I can mime. One little girl was insistent that I become her pet and sleep at the end of her bed. Hey, free rent and food, it's not so bad.

Also, the chocolate my students are giving me is piling up and I can't eat it that fast so I am relying on my family to help me out with some of this. I'm sure they won't mind. :)

The feels.

So the school year is coming to an end and I'm super excited to go home but a little sad to end my classes with my students. Some will return, some will not. I have said a million times that this was the best move I've made in my life ever but it's not because I just sucked at math and science when I was in high school (I really wasn't bad, just average). I think it's because what I know best is what my parents taught me, love and patience (and to never stop acting like a child).

I know I'm an idealist (as much as I fail horribly at being realistic) and I've been called naïve and a dreamer but I accept it. I can't really change who I am. But it's not just my parents who have shaped me this way. Life is a battle. There is so much hatred and violence and corruption that I guess I kind of figure the world doesn't need just another drone. The world needs to spread a little light and a little love. Through teaching I can do that. I can have an impact on these kids' lives and I have seen it through their positive reaction to diversity.

It really scares me to see how much the world hates each other. It scares me how much the world hates Muslims. It scares me how much some Muslims hate everyone. I know I'm not the best, most devout Muslim on the planet but even if I don't get it right all the time, I'll still keep this love in my heart and try to influence what I can.


  I'd rather be this dude:

But more entertaining like this guy:

And a little less like these people:

Smash and grab planetoids.

I had a really strange dream last night. I was looking for flats and found myself living in a building near the old town. I had a funny feeling about the flat and knew something wasn't right. I left the building during the day and was hanging out at cafes with friends all day. Then a friend said we should go this candy shop. We surfed down the streets of the old town and finally came to a building. We went through the door to find a winding staircase. On one landing, we entered a jungle themed candy shop yet it looked remarkably like the candy shop my mom used to take me and my sisters to when we were kids. It was like an old Victorian style house just with jungle plush animals everywhere. While my friend was looking for candy I decided to explore more so I went to the next floor. I found myself in an ice cream shop where Macklemore (rapper from Seattle) was working behind the counter while wearing a big fur coat and sunglasses (and no shirt for some reason). He was rapping ice cream flavors and orders. I got blue birthday cake ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. I decided to surf on home. I entered the building and the eerie feeling I had before returned. I got in the elevator and pressed the button for my floor. The elevator was unusual and is important. Here in Czech I have run across elevators that aren't used but have some sort of never ending cycle so they are constantly rotating. I was in this sort of elevator. Every floor I passed I saw this horrifying Ring-esque version of Mila Kunis staring at me. I was more creeped out than scared. I got the feeling she was my flatmate. At one point she held out her hand and I think she wanted me to hold her hand but the elevator was moving too quickly so I couldn't and just saw her face disappear below me.

Weird stuff.

Clingy clouds.

The clouds just don't want to go away. It's really annoying.

Anyway, I had a weird and kind of stressful day. One of my fifth grade classes really tested my patience today. I know the kids are getting antsy but geez! I got so angry today. Surprisingly, my sixth graders were okay. My first graders today were also out of control. At least I finished the day with some calm second graders.

I came home and started cooking dinner and then got chili in my eye but handled it like a champ.

I am still looking for a flat. I found one I liked; it's in a really convenient location and the price isn't too bad. Nothing is finalized yet so we'll see. Also there is a cheaper flat in an equally decent location but I need to find out if the other flatmate is male or female because I am not so comfortable living with men.

In other news, I think I'm really starting to notice that I haven't had a haircut in 2 years.

Mother Nature needs some chocolate and shopping therapy.

The weather has been absolutely dismal the past week and there is no sign of it really letting up. It's cold, it rains constantly, I am going insane. It's June. Mother Nature, get yourself together.

Anyway, I've come to a little bit of halt. I've made good choices coming out here, I'm having fun teaching but where do I go after this? I'm staying for another year but what about afterward? I'm having fun and I think the country is beautiful but should I just appreciate my time here and move on? I can't really think of another region of the world I'm dying to explore (at least not right now). I would really love to go to South America but there are virtually no jobs there. There are volunteer positions but this girl has bills to pay so I can't really afford it. Some options I'm considering are Indonesia, South Korea, and Turkey. Indonesia because I have family there and it would be great to get to know them. South Korea because I could make a ton of money and pay off my student loans really quickly. Turkey because I think it would be a pretty cool country to explore but I can still go there easily from Czech. Or do I want to start looking into Masters programs which I could do here which would be so much cheaper than doing it in the U.S.?

My problem: I'm a nester. I like to make a home for myself wherever I go. I've never been one to up and move around so much.

I know I shouldn't really worry about it too much right now. I should just focus on my classes and going home to see my family. I can't wait to talk to my family because they always have such good insight and advice to give. Or at least I think they do but they're family so whatever they say is comforting to me.

Anyway, blah blah blah, I need sun, I'm sleepy and want to nap but I have work to do.