Thoughts on housewives and Bear Grylls.

I've been so bored out of my skull the past couple weeks. I've had a total of two working days. TWO. I don't know how housewives do it. Of course the obvious thought of watching these shows entitled "Real Housewives of a Place with People and Stuff and Drama." And the old Ariana, the young, idealistic Ariana would have thought, "Who gives a hoot who these women are and what they do with their boring lives?" Oh Ariana. Sweet Ariana. What a sweet little fool. If I could look past my pride and sit through one episode of one of these shows I might learn a couple things but we can't all not have standards.

Now this is not to diss all housewives. Just the ones who think they're important enough for all of America to be fully invested in their every waking thought and bit of gossip. I know there are intelligent, lovely, wonderful housewives out there. I think I know a couple. But my question is: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME? How do I efficiently spend my time without spending money because I do need that for groceries? Reading is always an option but I can't exactly do that eight hours a day for two weeks straight. As much as I love to read there are certain consequences to such a sedentary lifestyle. You start to get fat from sitting around all day, constantly straining my eyes gives me migraines, bedsores might start to appear on my legs, things like that. Same thing with watching films all day. It's all fine and dandy for one day, maybe even a weekend but I need a variety of intellectual, emotional, and physical stimulation.

I think this is why I like working with children. Their unpredictability keeps me wondering how I need prepare myself. No, Matej, don't stick scissors in little Eliška (lesson: always carry bandaids and maybe it's a good idea to have school nurses). No Ondra, don't wrap that wad of gum around your head, it will get stuck (lesson: no gum in class, carry scissors, what happens in English class will somehow leak out of English class via spoiled tattle-tales). Kids, get out of my bag, that's not yours (lesson: lock up your prized possessions in your office and keep your coffee away from little clumsy hands). It's like a hilarious and terrifying survival show. I think Bear Grylls should take on the challenge of an ESL class. He's a tough dude, right? He gets a lot of flack for being a phony with photographs of him and his crew feasting behind the camera but give the guy a break. He's entertaining and educational. Because of him I know what to do if I ever fall into quicksand. I sometimes imagine that living and working in a classroom is like struggling through a Mad Max post-apocalyptic world and I am always semi-confident I can make it out of the Thunderdome alive. As terrifying as it sounds, the adrenaline you get after a great class is addicting. I guess a career in ESL is just a gateway activity of an adrenaline junky.

An American lost in a Czech kitchen.

While living abroad I miss a lot of things: food, family, friends, food, and other stuff. It's really difficult to not have comfort foods when you're so far from the people who are always willing to give you hugs. Or cook for you. In times like these, you have to rely on yourself to create the little things that remind you of home but I underestimated how difficult cooking your home favorites can be when using foreign ingredients.

I take the example of cookies. I agree with my cookie-fiending friend, Mladen: cookies are the best. They're small enough and not over-powering sweets. When I was living at home in the U.S. I would make cookies all the time. I knew which ingredients I needed, which brands I trusted, and I could be in and out of a supermarket in 10 minutes tops (checkout lines, you know?). Here in Czech is an entirely different story. There are so many types of flour. I know there are things like, cake flour, rice flour, unbleached, bleached, whole-wheat, white, etc. But here in Czech I am totally lost. From what I understand the most common flour is wheat flour (so far so good) and they come in three different textures (uhh...okay?). There is smooth flour (hladka mouka), semi-coarse flour (polohruba mouka), and coarse flour (hruba). I have no idea. I have been using the smooth flour for a majority of my time in Czech which has been fine for making pancakes and bagels but my cookie batter is a puddle and after baking they are flat and the chocolate chip cookies I made last night had the texture of a cake. The taste is fine but the texture is all wrong. I had the same problem while attempting (and failing horribly) to make some seemingly simple nutella cookies. I'll be honest, they looked like flat, crispy poo. They were delicious but if I were a more cowardly eater, I wouldn't have touched them. I finally came to the conclusion that the smooth flour must be for cakes but also more for thickening sauces. After Googling it, lo and behold, my reasoning proved correct. So I tried to research which flour would be more appropriate for cookies and have turned up with no answer. I'll ask around but if that gets me nowhere I might have to buy the other types of flour and try each one. As far as the chocolate chip cookies go, I ran into other problems: chocolate chips aren't available so I bought a bunch of chocolate bars and chopped them into pieces, brown sugar for baking is hard to find but luckily I did find at the health food store, and vanilla extract is hard to find. In most supermarkets I've found some vanilla syrup but it smells artificial and is really sweet. I did find a really small bottle of extract without alcohol at the health food store I frequent but it was a little expensive (a little over $2) for about two teaspoons worth.

In other news I went to Jummah at the masjid here in HK and met some Malaysian sisters who understand my chili plight. I think a lot of Europeans don't really like spicy food. They gave me a little info on where I could shop for ingredients and drum roll, please...I CAN BUY HALAL MEAT FROM THE MASJID! Life is good. I am always cautious of meat that is available in supermarkets. I don't know how they were killed, what the meat might be mixed with, and a bunch of other factors that make me want to avoid the whole situation. This is awesome news to me because I have bought chicken from Tesco a few times but have mostly been living off of tofu or tempeh. I can't really afford to buy chicken now but once I get paid at the end of the month, hello feast! Chicken, welcome to my belly. I am constantly surprised I'm as skinny as I am seeing as I am always thinking of my stomach.

So who wants a cookie-cake?

Slow-motion derp of the foreigner.

I know that my directors don't really want me or my colleague learning the language here but really, how do they expect us to get around and manage our daily lives? I can't use Google translate everywhere and it's not exactly accurate all the time. I can answer in a few words in phrases but it takes me a little while to think of them. I feel like an idiot in slow-motion. Here are a few examples to show that I need to have some basic understanding of the language:

1) Ordering food at a restaurant. Waiters have become accustomed to asking me what number on the menu as I try to pronounce whatever dish. My pronunciation is not THAT bad but sometimes it's easier.

2) When I didn't realize that the bus fare went up since I was in HK a few months ago and the bus driver tries to explain it to me but I don't realize it. Luckily my friend was with me and told me I needed 3 more crowns. 

3) Trying to clean my apartment but having no clue what the cleaning supplies are for. I've been sitting in my room for an hour trying to decode mysterious instructions with Google translate.

Derp. Once I begin working and making money I want to start taking language classes AND perhaps sign up for a gym. Anyway, I've been pretty bored for the past week and a half since I don't start work until Thursday. I've been taking several walks just so I don't feel like such a bum sitting in the flat all the time. I walked from my flat all the way to the shopping mall the other, which really isn't that far but I've never walked there before. 

Other ways to spend my time:

1) Writing

2) Practicing guitar

3) Figuring out all the functions on my camera and trying to digest some photography terminology

4) Researching master's programs

5) Teaching myself how to begin editing videos with very basic programs

I guess I should go do some of these things. It's raining out so it looks like I'm staying in today. On the plus side, I figured out how to use the espresso machine in my flat so heyyyyy what's up breakfast latte? 

No selfies allowed.

As I mentioned I am back from Spain and while you can click on the link to my Flickr account on the sidebar, I figured I'd share some photos anyway.

I think this is one of my favorites. I call it "Joint Effort."

Mind the gap and get back on track.

I've been thinking a lot about my master's degree over the past few months. Speaking in a realistic, financial sense, I can't afford to go for my master's degree for a couple years but I figure that gives me plenty of time to decide to which programs I want to apply and of course, study for entrance exams/GREs/what have you. I really have no clue where to get started. I'm still unsure what exactly I want to pursue for a degree. I know I want to do education. I know I want to work with English as a second language, and I'd like to narrow in on women's education.

I think I'm narrowing in on at least a master's in applied linguistics. It sounds kind of like a fancy title to me. But then again, I couldn't even imagine myself going to grad school a couple years ago. I'm really nervous. But it is something about which I'm passionate. I do want to do my program in Europe. This way I would still have plenty of work while attending school. I started looking for fun at some programs. I haven't really looked into the details so much but I saw some in Barcelona, Budapest, Brussels, and some more cities beginning with the letter B and some that include the rest of the alphabet. I know it's somewhat selfish but I'm really excited that Mladen's moving back to Europe. I consider him a really good friend and it's been hard not having a good friend even in the same time zone. It can get really lonely sometimes.

I think another project of mine this year is to become more financially organized. I'm terrible at keeping receipts, tracking purchases, budgeting expenses, etc. I feel like a lot of adults are bad at this so I really should get on top of that.

Also here is a song I've been listening to on repeat lately. Bon Iver is one of my favorite artists of all time and I met him a couple years ago through working with Dig Boston. Pretty awesome. 

Tired eyes, tired heart.

Bad news loves company. It seems that life likes to really wear a person down before (hopefully) some good comes. Less than a week after my grandfather's passing, I found out today about a colleague's passing. He was my officemate from one of the schools where I work. He was out biking and when he didn't return, a search began. His body was discovered yesterday. I am surprised no one from the school or my company bothered to tell me and I had to find out via rumors and whispers. It's the worst way to hear such news. At this point, I am too tired for tears. I apologize, readers, for all the tragedy but entertainment is not the main objective of this blog. Life, the little details between the hours, and the dreams and lessons that stem from those events. Since I was little, writing has been my way of making sense of the chaotic thoughts and feeling running rampant in my head.

I am not sure what to say. Quite honestly, I don't feel like saying much. My thoughts are with his family. It will be strange walking into my office next week. I'm already anticipating the awkward exchange between my other officemates, Mojmir and Vojtech. I'm anticipating a private chat with the deputy headmistress. But life moves on and the heart recovers. I told my students at the summer camp, good does come from life. Sometimes you don't notice it because the weight of the bad to the good at that moment isn't comparable but it's there. I think that's worth something. Rest in peace, Milan.

Annual celebrations of all kinds.

It’s been a difficult week. After the news of my grandfather and feeling at a loss of words and ideas of what needs to be done and trying to hide tears from six-year olds, we are finally heading home. The best way I can ever cope with stress or anything upsetting is to throw myself into my work but there were so many moments when I had to stop and catch my breath. While walking to the town, little Julie told me she wanted to buy a present for her grandfather. What can you do but smile and ask what she wants to buy him? The kids and I were in a store when a young man approached me and started asking me, “Miss, what is your name? These can’t be your children, where are you from?” I tried to end the conversation and move along with the children but he persisted and it took a lot of self-control to not scream at him. I find myself clenching my teeth and telling myself to stop being sad. It’s life. Death is a part of life and it’s not like you haven’t seen it before. I loved my grandfather but I think that this is not the main thought causing this heavy stress. During this entire time, I keep thinking of my mother. When my grandfather was in the hospital before I left the States, I watched my mother cry and it hurt me more than anything. Out of anyone, I can’t stand to watch my parents cry.  If the logical chain of events is to take place, my parents are next to follow suit of my grandparents. I don’t want to see them suffer; I don’t want to see them die. Whatever emotional roller coaster I am going through in my life, they are there for me to provide some comfort and wisdom. I don’t even want to think about what comes next.

When I received the news of my grandfather, Dominka, one of the older girls hugged me and put her hand on mine and told me, “You know Ariana, you’re one of my role models. You’re so strong.” I had to laugh amongst the tears. Strong. Strength. What strength? Anisha said something similar to me when I was visiting her in Boston. I feel like over the past 3 years or so I have been dragging bags of sand and stone through miles of water. If strength is there, I don't really see it. Maybe it’s hidden under a thick layer of fat. Maybe strength is simply surviving and keeping your ahead above water.

Anyway, it’s my birthday. I’m officially twenty-five years old. Twenty-five years of pulling through and hopefully here’s to many more. I don't feel much like celebrating but I don't think it's wise to sit at home. So here’s to those who have left us and to those who are still with us, may we love them and hold them dear and always tell them that we love them because we may not have another chance to do so. I told the older kids that no matter what happens in life, whether good or bad what the most important thing is that we learn from these experiences. I hope that you all and I can keep this in mind and keep dragging those sandbags.