Thoughts on housewives and Bear Grylls.

I've been so bored out of my skull the past couple weeks. I've had a total of two working days. TWO. I don't know how housewives do it. Of course the obvious thought of watching these shows entitled "Real Housewives of a Place with People and Stuff and Drama." And the old Ariana, the young, idealistic Ariana would have thought, "Who gives a hoot who these women are and what they do with their boring lives?" Oh Ariana. Sweet Ariana. What a sweet little fool. If I could look past my pride and sit through one episode of one of these shows I might learn a couple things but we can't all not have standards.

Now this is not to diss all housewives. Just the ones who think they're important enough for all of America to be fully invested in their every waking thought and bit of gossip. I know there are intelligent, lovely, wonderful housewives out there. I think I know a couple. But my question is: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME? How do I efficiently spend my time without spending money because I do need that for groceries? Reading is always an option but I can't exactly do that eight hours a day for two weeks straight. As much as I love to read there are certain consequences to such a sedentary lifestyle. You start to get fat from sitting around all day, constantly straining my eyes gives me migraines, bedsores might start to appear on my legs, things like that. Same thing with watching films all day. It's all fine and dandy for one day, maybe even a weekend but I need a variety of intellectual, emotional, and physical stimulation.

I think this is why I like working with children. Their unpredictability keeps me wondering how I need prepare myself. No, Matej, don't stick scissors in little Eliška (lesson: always carry bandaids and maybe it's a good idea to have school nurses). No Ondra, don't wrap that wad of gum around your head, it will get stuck (lesson: no gum in class, carry scissors, what happens in English class will somehow leak out of English class via spoiled tattle-tales). Kids, get out of my bag, that's not yours (lesson: lock up your prized possessions in your office and keep your coffee away from little clumsy hands). It's like a hilarious and terrifying survival show. I think Bear Grylls should take on the challenge of an ESL class. He's a tough dude, right? He gets a lot of flack for being a phony with photographs of him and his crew feasting behind the camera but give the guy a break. He's entertaining and educational. Because of him I know what to do if I ever fall into quicksand. I sometimes imagine that living and working in a classroom is like struggling through a Mad Max post-apocalyptic world and I am always semi-confident I can make it out of the Thunderdome alive. As terrifying as it sounds, the adrenaline you get after a great class is addicting. I guess a career in ESL is just a gateway activity of an adrenaline junky.