Not enough cooks in the kitchen.

I forgot to mention earlier that I got into a fight with our oven last night. I really wanted to cook some chicken because that's what adults do, right? They cook chicken and stuff. But when there is no one around to show you how to work the damn oven because when you press what you assume is the "on" button and nothing happens and the entire instructional manual is in an language you don't understand, you and your chicken start to panic a little. By the time I figured out how to work it, it was too late to start marinating so I just had pita bread with zaatar and baklawa I brought from home. These things take time.

We have a little friend in our flat. He was an orphan and my flatmates (two of whom I've finally met) adopted him. Say hello to Oskar!

I'm a happy allergic person.

My allergies are precisely the reason why I cannot become a crazy cat lady. 

Forks and other multi-pronged utensils in the road.

Maybe it's because I haven't readjusted to living in Czech just yet but for some reason I came to the decision that I don't think I will stay here after this year. Perhaps it's time to move on. I don't know why I came to this decision. The city is beautiful and I love my students, my directors, and the few friends I've made but something doesn't feel quite right to me. I think perhaps it's because I just came home from seeing my family and I miss them so incredibly much. Perhaps these feelings will go away in a week but I've started looking at positions in Turkey and Bosnia.

Edit: My friend Matyáš said I sounded too sad in this post so let me clarify. I think my time here in Czech is just the threshold of my journey. There is something deeper to be discovered and after jumping into this, stopping here would be unjust to myself. We'll see as the year develops.

Dark future with some well-lit corridors.

Money has always been a source of so much stress in my life. I became so desperate to make enough (or feel like I was making enough) that I had two jobs plus an internship and trying to do freelance while balance a social life. My sleep and eating habits were affected, my weight dropped to an unhealthy low and I was miserable. I also tend to have too much pride when it comes to money so I absolutely hate asking my parents (who are far from rich people) for anything because I feel too guilty and want to pay them back but I often don't make enough to pay them back fully. I've tried to let go some pride over the past couple years and since I've been home I am so incredibly grateful to mom and dad for treating me to even the basic necessities (like the 7 pairs of long wool socks for the cold winter). They even bought me new luggage for my upcoming birthday. Luggage is expensive. I've been using the luggage that my family bought some time before my older sister went to college which was around 2002 and the set has been abused. When the wheel broke off of one suitcase while I was moving out of my old apartment, I think my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to invest in some decent luggage.

A hot topic in the U.S. over the past couple years is the devastating cost of a higher education and the lack of even decent-paying jobs available to young graduates. Students are left with mountains of debt and no way to pay it off. This is not the main cause but a factor in the decrease of car sales and home ownership because young people simply can't afford it. This, of course, is my story. Like I said, two jobs, an internship, freelance, and non-existent social life. I can afford my monthly payments but with 50% or more of it going to interest I've hardly made a dent in my loans. STRESS. How can I even attempt to prepare for my future life with like a husband, kids, a house, college funds, cars, etc. when I can't even get out of the water myself? I'd also like to throw in that I very sparingly use a credit card. Like I never like to go above $150/$200 because I know I'll struggle so hard to pay off anything higher. I don't have that much in debt compared to a lot of friends but it's still an incredible amount for someone who has been busting her butt at a clothing retail store for the past 4 years, made it up to a sort of administrative position, and still only made a little over $10/hour. Once you factor in taxes, rent, groceries, travel, and student loans, you don't have that much left over. And then when your company decides to cut your hours from around 30/35 hours a week to a measly 24, it really hurts. You aren't making enough money AND hey, you just lost your benefits. Awesome. Thanks a ton.

I have made some changes in my life that have made me a lot happier but I still struggle with money. However, my parents, being the amazing saintly, good people that they are, have said that once my younger sister finishes college, they would prefer to see their children out of debt and want to help us out. This is amazing for me because no that I have a job that I love, I am really interested in going to graduate school. My goal is to bring my actual student loan debt (not including interest) down to at least $12,000 before I apply. Realistically I can do that on my own if I really truly budget myself over the next 2 years. But after a talk with my dad I might be able to do it sooner. I know I'm getting ahead of myself because life is cruel and things happen so I can't really count on a super cheery, happy ending  but I can still hope and make du'a to Allah.