Maybe it's because I haven't readjusted to living in Czech just yet but for some reason I came to the decision that I don't think I will stay here after this year. Perhaps it's time to move on. I don't know why I came to this decision. The city is beautiful and I love my students, my directors, and the few friends I've made but something doesn't feel quite right to me. I think perhaps it's because I just came home from seeing my family and I miss them so incredibly much. Perhaps these feelings will go away in a week but I've started looking at positions in Turkey and Bosnia.
Edit: My friend Matyáš said I sounded too sad in this post so let me clarify. I think my time here in Czech is just the threshold of my journey. There is something deeper to be discovered and after jumping into this, stopping here would be unjust to myself. We'll see as the year develops.
I'm trying to figure out where I want to go this year on my vacation. So far in the running are:
Paris
Amsterdam
Istanbul
Now I have some issues with each. Paris is expensive. I don't have much money. Paris and Amsterdam are so incredibly touristy and from what I've heard from a lot of people way too overrated. I know people have had a good time and I do want to see it at some point because well, it is Paris but I hate that so many people make such a big deal about it. It's kind of how I feel about Rome. It's a beautiful city but far from my favorite. And those who know me know I am defiant until the end and hate doing what everyone else is doing. I'm the girl who hated pink just because all girls I knew loved it. I guess Mladen is correct to call me a "hippy hipster lady." Moving on. I really would love to go to Istanbul but I'm unsure how concerned I should be in light of the protests and military presence. Anisha told me that a former coworker of ours was there and had to be evacuated out. That and I don't know about my budget just yet.
My cookie-obsessed Serb friend (I exaggerate but love to tease him about it) also suggested another point of interest that I had forgotten about: Sarajevo! I've wanted to go for quite some time (I also would love to visit Mostar) and it's a little more off-course than what people would expect. The architecture, the mosques, the food, etc. It'll be winter when I go but it will be the beginning of winter so hopefully it won't be too cold.
I guess my top picks right now are Istanbul and Sarajevo, we'll see which one works out. The other thing is that Turkey and Bosnia are both countries where I'd be interested in teaching. If you have any tips as to what I should see, where I should go, what I should eat, let me know!
In the meantime, the weather is so nice here in Czech. Anyone for a bike ride?
So watching the video introducing my friend Nicholas's documentary "Pursuing Happiness" really struck a chord with me. The past year I've done a lot of soul searching to find out what makes me happy and how I want to impact the world. If you didn't already know, Malala Yusafzai, the young Pakistani girl whom the Taliban attempted to assassinate last year delivered a speech to the UN the week on her 16th birthday. If you haven't already watched it, I'll give you a moment to do so.
I was so moved by her words, the words of a 16-year old that I cried. And I cried when I talked to my dad about it. It's no surprise, I cry easily but the only thing coherent thing that came out of my mouth whilst crying was, "What a beautiful person." As my older sister, Kyla, said, I loved what she had to say as a woman, as a Pakistani, as a Muslim, as a young person, and in general, as a human being. I've decided at this point in my life I know what I want my legacy to be. In the future biography of me, I want to be known as an activist for women's education.
This is a major problem in our world, even at home in the U.S. Girls around the world are denied an education or flat out don't have the opportunity to go to school. Here at home, young women are not encouraged enough to pursue careers in math and science fields. I went to a private liberal arts college in Boston and I think the ratio of women to men at the time I attended was about 70:30. Yeah. I think a lot of it has to do with the expected gender roles of little girls and how they really haven't changed at all since forever.
One of my current favorite websites to visit (upworthy.com) recently uploaded a video about a new toy for girls that promotes engineering and problem-solving skills at a young age. I'd totally buy that for my girl. This is not to say I'm putting down the arts, I love the arts! The arts as far as I'm concerned. the arts is where it's at. I wasn't bad at science or math (except for calculus...first C ever in my life) but from a very early age I really loved to read and write, you can ask my parents. But if I had been encouraged to do something along the lines of this new Goldieblox engineering toy, who knows?
As for getting more global, a project that I have really been interested in is Skateistan. It really makes me wish I knew how to skateboard and the Dari language. This program targets young girls in Afghanistan (and now Cambodia!), giving them the opportunity at an education and the chance to learn a really cool skill.
I try to keep up with foreign affairs as much as possible because my parents always encouraged me and my sisters to be aware of the world around us. On top of that a professor from college scolded my class for not knowing about anything about the Bosnian War in the early to mid 90s (ahem, I was aware fyi) and said that you cannot be a good writer or even a good person if you don't pay attention to your world. While I know some people that would argue that in the case of several classical writers, I think he's right. We have such a globally connected world that you can't just ignore a part of it because you don't like it. Be aware and try to have a positive influence on the parts that don't work so well. Education is the first step understanding and compromise on both sides. Just imagine what that little girl picking her nose on the bus could grow up to be. I'm not a scary hooded figure and I'm not just a pretty face. I am an advocate, an activist, and representative for the education of everyone, of Muslim women, the Oxford comma, and the belief baked goods are good bandages for bad days.
Thinking of all of this makes me swell with pride (and more tears, I can't help it) and this is just the sort of positivity I want to push forward in the world. What makes you happy?
I'm aware I'm a walking advertisement for Boston. Everyone whom I talk to, I brag about Boston's beauty and relaxed nature. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but if I were to ever settle in a city in the U.S., Boston would be among my top choices. I'm so glad I was up here for the Independence Day surrounded by friends who bring so much joy to my life. They're people who in my mind represent tolerance, love, freedom, and joy. I know, I'm super cheesy and a complete dreamer, idealist, blah, blah, blah head in the clouds blah blah.
I couldn't change if I tried
Everyone can just shut up, the world needs dreamers and do-gooders
I'm fantastic and entertaining
Anyway, how I feel about extravagant (and tasteful) shows of patriotism like the 4th of July is similar to how I felt being at the Eastside Gallery in Berlin. I felt this swell of happiness and pride just for being human. I know our system and government is screwed up but I think about a lot of the opportunities I am afforded by living here. I think about my father's upbringing in Indonesia and how hard he worked to push past his circumstances so that he could have a chance at a better life for him and his future family. It's hard and a constant struggle but he makes it work. Watching the fireworks over the Charles River with people who accepted me for all I am and all my faults and all my quirks was the most perfect way to spend a day dedicated to the idea of freedom.
