Budapest was intensely fun. It's such a beautiful city. But really what made me appreciate the trip was the train ride. It gave me a long time to poke around my head (as I am fond of doing) but sometimes what you find in your head is not so wonderful.
The train ride gave me a lot of time to think about who I was in previous years, the emotional troubles in various aspects of my life. The lingering question on my mind is, "Is this really progress or am I still running away from something?" I guess it's a little hard to tell. I was talking with one of my friends roommates and was talking about my decision to move away from the U.S. and what I'm searching for. I think partially what I'm looking for are people who are like me. Who think like me and are sensitive to the same things. I guess I don't fully understand myself in a way. I know life is an endless struggle and I just have to keep having faith but sometimes it's difficult to have a strong heart when you haven't seen calm sea in years. I guess you just have to keep on keeping on.
I often ramble and chase my thoughts in circles trying to make sense of it all. I wish Chels was around. Or Amber. Or Anoush. Or anyone good at figuring out my head.
Maybe I just need a pet.
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